Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Stroller Madness, Part Deux

Now onto our 4th (yes, FOURTH) stroller, the Baby Jogger City Select Double.
It's an incredibly well-thought-out piece of equipment, and I love that you can arrange the seats in any configuration you want (both kids facing you, both kids facing out, etc.), and I love the fact that L and C love napping in it. Speaking of, when we were looking at buying the stroller, the sales guy was doing his darndest to sell us the bells and whistles for an infant: car seat adaptor, bassinet, etc. Wary of making yet another purchase mistake, we passed on the extras, and good thing we did, too! For L, the newborn, we just padded the stroller seat with a Bundle Me and reclined it a little, and the moment we put her into it, we knew we had a winner. She absolutely loves it. Falls asleep in it every time. In fact, she loves it so much that, for a while, we were using it for all of her sleeping needs -- naps and nighttime sleeping. So, unless you live in the 'burbs and use a car seat all the time, don't bother with the car seat adaptor or the bassinet.

The downside of the City Select, of course, is the weight. While maneuverability is amazing, I often feel like Sisyphus, rolling that damn boulder uphill (even when I'm on a flat surface). On the bright side, I suspect my arms will be pretty toned in a couple of months.

And then I discovered this: http://kinderwagon.com/.

Ohmigod, did I make yet ANOTHER mistake, buying the City Select? Is the Kinderwagon Hop the double stroller of my dreams? An umbrella double stroller? Genius! But how many more strollers can a family take????

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Pain Sacks (a.k.a. "Boobs")

This is another one of those "for the ladies only" posts. Gentlemen, continue only if discussions about boobs intrigue you for some reason...

Anyway, another month, another post. All my ambition of posting weekly crumbled when confronted with the reality of managing two kids (even if one of them is only 7 weeks old!). Am still trying to figure out how this two-kid thing works, and, as I'm doing so, I'm realizing the truth to an observation a friend of mine once made: dealing with two kids is not doubly hard; it's EXPONENTIALLY harder. And INFINITELY harder when the entire family (including me) is as sick as dogs. Sigh.

So back to the subject matter at hand: breastfeeding. A true blessing, of course, though it can so oftentimes feel like a curse. If you're like me -- a hyper-producer -- you know what I mean: the constant engorgement, the blocked ducts, mastitis, the pumping schedule, the crazy letdowns (that gag your newborn), the soaked shirts and sheets, etc. With Kid #2, L, the whole process seems a lot less traumatic, for some reason. Perhaps because I've been sick, my body has been producing drastically less milk, which translates to easy feeds for L and no pumping (happy dance!). But in this post, I did want to write about something I discovered when I was breastfeeding C and dealing with constant, uber-painful blockages.

Ugh, those were awful: huddled over a table at 1, 2, 3 a.m., with one of my breasts dunked into a bowl of steaming hot water while I tried to massage the blockages out. And then, one night, in desperation, I turned to Google (to figure out if I needed to go see a doctor about what I thought was perhaps a bad case of mastitis). And there, in the magical world of the interwebs, y'all, I discovered a factual nugget that changed my life forever (or at least that was the hyperbolic sentiment I felt when I first happened upon it). MILK BLISTER: that tiny, miniscule flap of skin that grows over a milk pore, trapping the milk behind it, thus creating the uber-painful blockage. Why hadn't anyone told me about this???? I had to find out about it while scrolling through a comment thread of some obscure website. Of course, back then, I didn't know about kellymom.com.

Anyhow, the solution, it turns out, was a sterilized needle. You'd have to look for the blisters really carefully. Mine were just tiny white specks that looked like they could or could not be part of the nipple. But once I located one, I would just gently scrape the skin away, and...sweet, sweet, sweet relief, as the milk would just come gushing out.

kellymom.com has a lot of information about this here:

Hopefully, this information will help some of you new breastfeeding mommas feel a little less like you have pain sacks bolted onto your chest. At this point in the game the last time around, I would have happily opted for "discomfort sacks"! Happy pumping...er...breastfeeding, ladies!

Friday, October 14, 2011

A Follow-Up to the Depends Post

For every woman who's been told that Kegel exercises are the answer to preventing/reducing incontinence, this is going to BLOW. YOUR. MIND.
It's not Kegels (apparently counterproductive!). It's squats. The tighter the glutes, the less you leak!

Friday, October 7, 2011

A post about preserving your postpartum sanity and dignity


Note: this post is for the ladies. Gentlemen, no need to delve any further, unless you don't mind TMI.

So a week and a half ago, I gave birth to my second little angel. A beautiful girl with large eyes and a disarming lack of crying. She sleeps pretty much on command and seems pretty content with her place in the world. Sleepless nights? What sleepless nights? Last night, she woke up once for her feeding and otherwise slumbered peacefully in the crook of my arm. If only all parents could be so lucky.

The flip side, of course, is all those postpartum annoyances they DON'T tell you about. All that postpartum goop (sorry, Gwyneth) and...drumroll...full-blown incontinence. WTF? No one told me about incontinence! I never had it with C, so what gives? (After much thought, I've decided that the main culprit was the lack of exercise while pregnant with #2, among other things.) So, ladies who've just had babies, I have two words for you: ADULT DIAPERS. I don't know why I never thought of it with C -- dealing with those horrible disposable undies and bulky pads was just the bane of my existence (the constant worrying about leaking, etc.) -- but better late than never! As a new connoisseur of the adult diaper products, my recommendation would be Depends (Depends: because your dignity depends on Depends -- haha). But really, any adult diaper product would be better than what the hospital provides for you.

So there you have it. When life throws you a curve ball, get a longer bat.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sneaky Spinach


So the summer is drawing to a close -- as is the deceptive illusion of perma-vacation. Ergo, back to a more consistent blogging rhythm...until Baby #2 arrives, that is (which, fingers crossed, should be around the end of this month). Although, come to think of it, I'm sure I'll have a whole host of new tidbits to blog about!

Wanted to post something about nutrition this time around...or the lack, thereof. There was a time, during C's earliest months (before the introduction to solids), when I had the most glorious fantasies about the immaculate diet she would be fed. Dairy-, sugar-, and meat-free and nothing but whole grains and organic veggies/fruits and plant-based proteins for this child! But C had other plans: namely, she turned out to be the worst eater on the planet. It got so bad that, at a certain point, I was just happy if she shoved a donut down her throat.

She has, since then, slowly morphed into a satisfactory, if not solid, eater (and, if at day care, a champion eater, apparently!), and I know that I have a repertoire of staples in my pantry/fridge arsenal that she'll happily eat whenever offered. Vegetables, unfortunately and not unsurprisingly, are still (for the most part) non grata. I figure I'm not the only parent with this dilemma, and I've shared the following trick with enough parents who hadn't thought of it themselves that I thought I'd blog about it. And all you need is a reliable pair of kitchen scissors!

I've discovered, basically, that I can sneak raw baby spinach (and ground flax seeds, come to think of it) into just about anything I serve C. As long as it's cut up small enough (ergo, the kitchen scissors), I can sneak it into her yogurt, her pasta, her eggs, her rice, her cream cheese (accompanied by cinnamon raisin bagel, of course), her pizza, etc. The sky's the limit! Somehow, the texture and taste of raw baby spinach are both innocuous enough that C doesn't seem to notice and/or mind the tiny green strips stuck in her food. Hallelujah! This trick has been the saving grace of many of C's otherwise "empty calorie" meals. I wish I could say the same for broccoli. Sigh.

Anywhooo, I figure that one of these days, when she's old enough, I'll have to force the confrontation with the dreaded vegetable -- undisguised and in its full-form glory. But until that day arrives, why make life difficult for all involved?

P.S. Feel free to share your own feeding tips/suggestions!




Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Brain Rules for Baby, by John Medina


I know that most new parents barely have the time to take a quick shower, much less read an entire book, but I would strongly, strongly encourage expecting parents and new parents to read this book. A lot of the information overlaps with another book I recommended, NurtureShock, but there's enough new information in here that can really change the way you parent your child. Medina's a scientist, first and foremost, but he makes the science incredibly accessible, and he's funny to boot. But instead of writing a tome here, I'll just let you read the product description on Amazon. Hope it proves titillating enough that you purchase (and read) the book ASAP!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Hold the Lipstick


If I were ever to categorize my blog entries (which I really should, I know), this one would be filed under a "WTF?" tab.

So I think I'm a conscientious mama who tries my best to navigate a middle ground between neurotic obsession and complete laissez-faire, especially when it comes to steering C clear of toxins. For example, while I read all food packages religiously to avoid products with ingredients whose names I don't recognize, I cede control when it comes to C's diet at day care (thankfully, C's day care providers are usually very good about feeding the kids wholesome meals).

Another example: I spent a while researching all-natural nail polishes (yay, Piggy Paint!) to paint on C's precious little piggies, but when C decided a couple of days ago that she just had to try on some L'Oreal Infallible Plumping Lip Gloss, I thought, "Eh, what the heck?" And so I gave her the bright red lips she wanted. She was tickled silly and looked adorable with the lipstick smeared beyond the contours of her little lips, and I thought we had had a wonderful bonding moment...until a couple of hours later, when we removed the lipstick. "Owwie," she said, and I was stunned to see what looked like a burn along the right side of her mouth. The damn lipstick had given my baby a chemical burn! WTF? Since then, the burn has scabbed over, and it doesn't seem to bother her, but the whole incident has just freaked the bejesus out of me. How toxic is this makeup that we mommies have been applying on ourselves? I've since looked up the list of ingredients for this lipstick and other fine makeup products in my kit, and, suffice to say, I'm ready to chuck most of my conventional makeup and replace with organic makeup products. Better for mommy and a better example for C (eventually).

In the meantime, for playing grown-up with C, Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer will do just fine, thank you very much.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Sweet, Sweet Honey


I was reminded of this potential issue when another mommy in C's daycare told me that she had fed her 6-month old baby some honey. Normally, I'm one to flout restrictions on babies' diets (C was eating eggs and peanuts and shrimp early on in life), but, for some reason, not feeding C honey until she turned 1 was the one dietary rule I followed (perhaps so as to tempt fate or something?). So, if you're the parent of a baby and you didn't know about this rule and the reason for it, here it is:
You can now make an informed decision on whether or not this issue is overblown! Bon appetit, babies!

Friday, July 22, 2011

The TRAVESTY that we call the FDA

If there were any doubt that the FDA's interests were aligned with Big Corp -- at the expense of the public it's supposed to protect -- well, here's your proof:
Makes me sick to my stomach. Why don't we all just start shoving Doritos down our kids' throats?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

"How to Talk to Little Girls" (a re-post)

About this article: part of me thinks, "Eh, lighten up!" The other part thinks, "Preach it, Sister!" But with C reaching maximal cuteness age (when does that end for parents???), it does make me think long and hard.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Baby Registry Madness


So I'm at that age now when all of my friends are popping out kids, and a number of them have asked me for registry advice. I've had to warn them all that I'm of the "less is better" school (perhaps a function of living in a cramped NY apartment). Overwhelmed by the plethora of baby crap out there, we ended up registering for approximately three million items -- of which we ended up using around 5. Since then, I've come up with the list I wish I had had back when I could have used it. Of course, I welcome any feedback! It's been a while since I've had to deal with this, so I'm sure my memory has failed me in some places, but I think it's a good start.

Must haves:
  1. Car seat (the kind that doubles as a stroller with the snap-on base, like the Graco SnugRide)
  2. Stroller (for urban moms, the lighter the better)
  3. Crib and crib accessories (like sheets and breathable bumpers, etc. Don’t need blankets just yet, since they’re suffocation hazards. Instead of blankets, you may initially want to try SleepSacks.)
  4. Lots and lots of onesies -- lots and lots of them!
  5. Little mittens (to keep kids from scratching themselves while sleeping)
  6. Baby socks and caps (lots of air conditioning everywhere, so want to keep feet and head warm)
  7. Pack-n-Play (important when travelling or when you want infants napping in the same room you’re working in)
  8. Swaddling cloths/receiving blankets (usually given out by hospitals when leaving, though maybe it was just my hospital)
  9. Baby monitor
  10. Night lights
  11. Breast pump (if breastfeeding, obviously)
  12. Bottles (Dr. Brown’s are great, but since you'll most likely be experimenting with different types, wouldn't go crazy and get hundreds of them)
  13. Bottle brush and drying rack
  14. Baby bath tub
  15. Would get lots of bottles of Burt’s Bees Shampoo on Body Wash (awesome product and makes fun bubbles!)
  16. Hooded towels (actually, probably not a must have for most people, just for P and me)
  17. Bumbo (little soft chairs that the kids will sit on when they can keep their heads up)
  18. Activity mats
  19. Exersaucer (lots of debate on this, as well as walkers, but we thought they were AWESOME, and they certainly didn’t hurt C)
  20. Jumper (again, lots of debate on this, but hours of entertainment and relief for you)
  21. Swingle cradle (we only used ours for a couple of months, but they did have the benefit of calming C down a number of times)
  22. Rocking chair (which makes for a nice way to bond with the new kid while relaxing you as well)
  23. Diapers (though I'm of the impression that you're going to be experimenting with diapers as well, so no need to go crazy just yet on these. If you're going to go the cloth diaper route, I'd highly recommend gDiapers!!!!)
  24. Diaper bag
  25. Portable diaper changing pads (for when you’re out and about and don’t want to put your kid on some nasty surface. Diaper bags may include this already, but check.)
  26. Diaper changing table/pad (though, actually, P and I just plopped C on a towel on our bed and changed diapers that way, so wasn't really a necessity for us)
  27. Bibs
  28. Little utensils and bowls/plates
  29. High chairs (or booster seats that you can strap on to chairs)
  30. Ergo (or the equivalent — hated the Moby wrap)
  31. Baby nail clipper (though a regular nail clipper worked just fine for C, even when she was a tiny infant)
  32. Health/medical kit (thermometer, nose bulb, baby aspirin, etc.)
Would be nice to have:
  1. Teethers (like Sophie the Giraffe)
  2. Soft books
  3. Soft toys
  4. Developmental toys
  5. Diaper pail/liners (though P and I just put pee diapers in the regular trash and poopy diapers in a separate plastic bag that we would just tie and untie and eventually throw out)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Little Piggies


So how excited am I to share this? I'd been racking my brain to come up with an activity that would be exclusively for C and me (to help ease her transition from being mama's only little girl to older sister), and I finally hit on mommy-daughter mani/pedis. But, being incredibly fearful of slathering C's poor little nails with toxic waste, I'd held off...until I came across this:
Not only do they have nail polish in the cutest colors imaginable, they have non-toxic nail polish remover! The polish goes on smoothly and dries really quickly, though I have to admit that it chips and peels pretty easily. But who cares? Gives mommy and daughter (or son, I guess) more time to bond. Enjoy pampering your little ladies, ladies!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Dangers of Raw Sprouts

After the whole food poisoning/sprouts scare in Europe this month, I started reading more about sprouts in general. Turns out that, as nutritious as they are, they're allegedly incredibly risky. Not that C really cares for sprouts anyway, but she does down Pad Thai noodles from our favorite Thai restaurant, and they always come with raw bean sprouts mixed in. No longer!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Organic or Conventional?


When it comes to fruits and veggies for C (and for me and the hubby, I guess), I've always tried to go organic as much as possible. But there are times when you just have to roll your eyes at the prices of organic produce -- as I did one day recently when I picked up a pack of two (2!!) bell peppers and laid eyes on the price: $7.60. I put them back, figuring that I didn't necessarily need bell peppers swaddled in fairy dust. But other than price considerations, I never quite had a system for choosing organic over conventional, or vice versa, unless you count hunches as a system. So I'm glad that the Environmental Working Group came up with this handy dandy chart of the cleanest fruits and veggies (the "Clean 15") and the dirtiest (the "Dirty Dozen", so to speak).
After browsing this chart, it occurs to me that I may need to buy bell peppers swaddled in fairy dust after all.

Friday, June 10, 2011

A Tragic Summer Reminder

I think that most parents have probably experienced the paralyzing panic induced by losing sight of their child for a couple of seconds on the playground/shopping mall/(fill in the blank). Ours happened a couple of weeks ago, in a crowded playground. Both the hubby and I were supposed to be watching C, but I thought he was watching her, and he thought I was watching her, and we were both chatting with other parents. I'm sure that we had lost sight of her for under a minute, but a lot can happen in a minute, and we were more than sufficiently freaked out.

And, not that I want to be a fear-monger, a lot can indeed happen in under a minute. 18 seconds, in fact, which is why I'm reposting a blog article that was published in "Philly Mag". It's a tragic but necessary (and extremely timely) reminder of why we need to be keeping a hawk's eye on our kids at all times, especially during swimming season.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Travelling with Baby


Will not elaborate on the recent nightmare trip to and from Corpus Christi, Texas (where the hubby's grandmothers reside) other than to mention several cancellations, detours, last-minute car reservations, waiting on tarmacs, and arriving in the wee hours of the morning both in Texas and back in NY. Still traumatized, to say the least, though C was quite the trooper. But what I did want to mention briefly was a pretty ingenious invention for parents travelling on planes with babies/toddlers.

Like most parents flying economy (i.e., on a budget), we've had C on our laps when stuck in planes. Given my paranoid personality, I've always been freaked out about having C completely unrestrained, held only by my admittedly out-of-shape arms. In any sudden turbulence (think of that airplane scene in the "Lost" pilot), C would pretty much be a rag doll, tossed overhead and severely injured, if not worse. Enter the Baby B'Air, which is an FAA-approved safety vest, with a strap that loops around your own safety belt. The strap is mercifully long enough to allow your child some mobility but short enough to keep him/her from flying out of your lap in the event of sudden turbulence. C never seems to mind it once it's on, and it's peace of mind for me. Here is the link to their website, if you want to check it out (the video on their site is extremely cheesy, but it makes the point):
  • http://babybair.com/
In the meantime, bon voyage!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Late Talker

So while flipping through an issue of "Westchester Family" the other day -- preparing for our eventual move to the 'burbs (gasp!) -- I saw an ad page that caught my eye. Entitled "5 Myths Every Parent of a Late Talker Needs to Know the Truth About", it was written by a speech therapist who was advocating her services (Isa Marrs, if anyone in Westchester is interested). While I'm no specialist and have no familiarity with speech development issues, and while the argument could be made that Marrs is scaring parents into using her services, I thought the information in this ad was important enough at least to share with any mama out there who might be concerned that her little one may be lagging behind speech-wise.

The 5 myths are as follows:
  1. He's not talking because you don't make him.
  2. She's not talking because her older sibling talks for her.
  3. He's not talking because he's lazy.
  4. He's not talking because boys develop later.
  5. Don't worry; she'll grow out of it!
Marrs shoots down the first three by claiming that, no matter what, a child will talk if s/he can. But it's her response to #4 that I found really interesting: apparently, gender accounts for no more than 3% of the difference. Regardless of gender, your child should be using at least 10 words by 18-20 months and no fewer than 50 words by 21-30 months. If your child misses either of those milestones, have him/her evaluated.

And, lastly, apparently 1 out of 4 will not grow out of it. The longer it takes a child to start talking, the more likely s/he will have other difficulties. "To put it another way," she writes, "late talking is often an indicator that something else is wrong."

I am obviously not in the business of assessing childhood developmental problems, but I thought I'd pass on some information that I personally found useful. (After all, who knows what surprises Kid #2 will hold for me?)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

NurtureShock


A friend of mine recommended this book to me, and I couldn't put it down. Dubbed the "
Freakonomics of child-rearing", it certainly lived up to its hype, turning so many of my assumptions upside down. Like, apparently, the best predictor of your child's relationship with a new sibling is his/her existing relationship with a best friend. Or that praise is not necessarily a good thing (which, to be fair, I had read about in SuperBaby). Or that kids in diverse schools are less likely to have cross-racial friendships. Or that there's a specific way to get your baby to start talking. Or that spanking does not necessarily damage a kid (and that it may, in fact, actually have positive effects -- but, not to worry: neither the authors nor I are advocating spanking as a disciplinary method!). Etc. Etc. Such an interesting read -- and one that will no doubt inform the way I parent going forward. Highly recommended!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

To Slather or Not to Slather


As an admittedly paranoid mama, it's been a relief this horrifically long winter (NY mamas, you know what I mean) not to have to worry about slathering toxic sunscreens on C. In fact, quite the opposite: I've been fretting about C not getting
enough sun. But now that the leaves are starting to bud, we've been fine wearing hats and long sleeves/pants for prolonged outdoor play. Fine for now, but as the weather gets warmer and warmer, there will come a day, I'm sure, when C will be whining to run around in nothing but her diapers.

So, for prolonged outdoor play in the sun, what to do? There are serious, hormone-disrupting toxins in most of the chemical sunscreens we've been slathering on our kids, and the efficacy of most of these sunscreens are questionable at best. I've included a couple of links that I think are must-reads for anyone on the hunt for a good sunscreen. And hopefully the EWG (Environmental Working Group) site will be an eye-opening journey for anyone confused about the pros and cons of sunscreen.
So, if chemical sunscreens are a no-no, what about physical sunblocks? Well, then, you have to start worrying about the whole nanoparticle controversy. It's enough to drive a mama mad. But after doing all my research, I decided that I felt comfortable enough with Badger, which I ordered on Diapers.com, to start using it on C. It was also one of the EWG-recommended sunscreens.
And I appreciate all the information Badger posted on its website about the whole nanoparticle controversy (even if they concluded that nanoparticles weren't dangerous) and about its sunscreen (which doesn't contain nanoparticles):
(But note to mamas out there running out to grab some Badger, MUST KNEAD THE TUBE!!! The natural oils separate, so lots of nicely scented oils squirted all over me when I first squeezed the tube.)

Finally, here is the EWG's list of sunscreens in its Hall of Shame. And to think: some mother has been duped into letting her little one roast for hours under the sun, under the mistaken impression that, with an SPF 100 sunscreen, he was protected. So infuriating:
Hopefully this post helped more than it confused? In the meantime, look for us this summer at a playground near you. I'll be the one with the hat large enough to cover Texas, and my kid will be the naked one, wearing a hat and reeking of lavender oil.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Toys Toys Toys


There was a time when I thought that kids were just fine playing with pots and pans and yogurt containers. That was before I became a mom, of course, and before I started buying every toy that caught my (then) sleep-deprived attention -- sort of a way of "keeping up with the (playdate) Joneses." Soon enough, I found myself living in an apartment overrun with admittedly useless toys, barely able to walk 2 feet before tripping over a yapping mechanical dog or a rolling plastic pig. AAAHHH!!! How to tame this chaos?

And, just in time, I remembered that my now friend, Dr. Teresa Signorelli, a child development specialist, had written a very very useful article on the very same subject. I found it so useful and so inspiring that I actually got rid of a lot of C's toys and went out and bought her a whole new batch of age-appropriate toys. I organized her play space, streamlining it, and compartmentalizing it (sort of) according to the different areas Teresa outlines in her article. Now we have a happier kid (and even happier parents)! A highly recommended read. Here are the links to the article and to her website:
Here's my last thought: since you're going to buy toys for your kid anyway (unless you've lucked into a useful hand-me-down situation), why not be strategic about it, right?


Friday, April 22, 2011

Heimlich Clear Cream Recall

So a couple of weeks ago, I blogged about the most amazing, miraculous, "all natural" cream that got rid of C's eczema in a matter of days. Given that I have used homeopathic remedies before, with much success, for some of C's other typical baby/toddler ailments, I had no problem trusting Heimlich Clear Cream's claim to being "all natural". Now, thanks to an alert reader (thank you, anonymous commenter!), I've found out that I've been duped. Apparently, the distributor has recalled the product because "FDA analysis revealed the presence of up to 0.037% Betamethasone Valerate, a corticosteroid". Argh! It's not so much the presence of the steroid in the cream that pisses me off so much (as .037% is still a much smaller concentration than is found in other steroid creams) but that the company felt the need to deceive an already vulnerable consumer base. So while in practice, I wouldn't mind using the cream again (especially since I didn't have to use much of it), I won't, out of principle. Companies like Heimlich give truly effective holistic products a bad rap, and I have to wonder what else the company is lying about. Perhaps they'll offer some sort of satisfactory explanation, but, in the meantime, if C's eczema rears its ugly head again, I'll give the California Baby Calendula Cream a try. It's cheaper anyway.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The (P)Leisure of Sleep


C was a dream sleeper for most of her young life until a traumatic trip to the ER/Pediatric ICU when she was 14 months old. Long story short, she was fine, but her awesome sleep habits suffered a major blow. So it was back to co-sleeping until just a couple of weeks ago, with the hubby kicked to the curb (or, rather, the futon), as a queen-sized bed seemed too small for the three of us. But even with just C and me in bed, she was getting up at least 3-4 times a night. It made sense, I guess: if I were tossing and turning or making noises while she was in light sleep, I'd wake her up. So then we tried the "transfer" technique, which involved putting her to sleep next to me and then transferring her to a crib in our room. Didn't work so much. She'd get up hysterical, unable to be calmed down unless I played for her her favorite videos.

Finally, in desperation, I did what I should have done a while ago: ordered the dreaded Ferber book (Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, by Dr. Richard Ferber, M.D.). Had heard about this crying-it-out method and how magical it is, but for the longest time resisted (due to cowardice on my part, no doubt). But now desperate -- both for C and me, since neither of us was getting good sleep -- I decided that the least I could do was read the book, even if I chose later not to implement. Lo and behold, his words made so much sense.

For C at least, it was all about sleep associations. If C fell asleep next to me and then woke up in the middle of the night and I wasn't there, it's only natural that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. He uses the example of a pillow. If we're used to falling asleep with a pillow under our heads and then wake up in the middle of the night without it, we'd need the pillow back under our heads to fall asleep again. Cue analogy to pacifier, boob, bottle, rocking chair, etc. So the trick was to get C to fall asleep on her own in her own crib.

Given that C is a pretty verbal toddler, able to understand in her rudimentary way the concept of give-and-take, I decided to negotiate with her. After setting up her crib to be something fun and pleasant (stuffed animals, comfy blankets, and placing her in the crib with a bunch of stickers, which she happily played with for over an hour), I promised her a balloon and more stickers the next morning if she were to sleep in her crib. Amazingly, she understood, and, as if by magic, she slept through the entire night, waking up only once for some water. And so the pattern continues. After a week or so, we didn't really have to promise her goodies any more. She got it. Her crib was her sleeping place, and she had become accustomed to it. Her sleeping through the night has made a world of difference to C, me, and the hubby (especially the hubby).

Fortunately, I never had to use the cry-it-out method that Ferber advocates, since moving C to her own crib sufficed. But now that I know how important quality sleep is for C, I don't think I'd hesitate to try the Ferber method (despite my usual spinelessness when it comes to C's crying). And, honestly, I think the cry-it-out method sounds a lot more harsh than it actually is, as Ferber never actually suggests that a parent abandon the kid to his crying (and the revised edition even allows for co-sleeping!). In fact, the method provides a wonderfully specific schedule of when and how often to check in on the crying child, which is a far cry from leaving him to cry for hours.

Granted, the method isn't right for everyone, and I would never suggest that it is. (And my pediatrician made it clear to me that the method is not for babies under 4 months old.) You may have philosophical or practical reasons for not wanting to try it, which I totally understand, but if you truly believe that your child is not getting the quality sleep he or she deserves and the only reason you're not trying the method is because you're scared to hear your kid cry (which was definitely the case with me), I'd highly recommend that you at least flip through the Ferber book. Here's the link:


In the meantime, bonne nuit!

Friday, April 8, 2011

"I'm Fat!"

A couple of weeks ago, my then 20-month old daughter looked at my admittedly large and softening belly one evening and said two words that almost stopped my heart: "Umma fat." (For those of you who don't speak Korean, "Umma" is Korean for "mommy"). The comment, coming from a 20-month old, was both hysterical and heartbreaking. Hysterical, because what 20-month old walks around calling people "fat"? Heartbreaking, because I've always been paranoid about conveying my body image issues to C and here she was, repeating words back to me that she had most likely heard from me (as much as I would have loved to blame anyone else: the daycare provider, her babysitter, another mommy...but, alas, no).

Having grown up a "larger" girl (by Asian standards, a "hippo", apparently, which is what I was often called by someone who shall remain unnamed), I've spent most of my life dealing with a twisted relationship with food -- not to mention my body. And I remember sitting around one day with a bunch of women who were all griping about their bodies, getting more and more infuriated that we were falling prey to such a stereotype and such pressure. (Have you ever noticed how when women get together, one or more of them inevitably resorts to talking about her body or her diet? I plead guilty to being that woman on more than one occasion!) I remember wondering if men sat around griping about their bodies the way we were doing at that moment, and, if not, why we women were. At that point, I made a conscious decision never ever to talk about my body again -- at least in a derogatory manner.

Obviously, I've let that resolution slide by the wayside, but now that I have a daughter, I'd like to renew that resolution, especially in light of an article that my friend recently posted on her Facebook wall (thanks, Jen!): http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42380003/ns/today-today_health/. I of course don't want to sound preachy, but if I can encourage at least one mother to think twice before talking about her body in a negative way in front of her daughter, then this post has done its job.




Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Et tu, M&Ms?


Being preggo, I downed nearly an entire jumbo-sized bag of peanut M&Ms…after which I read this post on huffingtonpost (my source for all things raging liberal and WTH?):

Do food dyes cause ADHD and cancers? I’ve been following the debate, but the bottom line is, who knows? Maybe it’s all the sugar in our kids’ diets? What I do know is that I certainly don’t trust the FDA to look after my or C’s interests. (How is it that the Europeans have gotten us beat on another safety issue yet again?) So I’m going to apply Laurie David’s advice, originally intended for the FDA, and “assum[e] chemicals are dangerous until proven safe”, which is not to say that C won’t be able to enjoy the occasional sprinkle-covered donut. Let’s just say that we’re going to be conscientious consumers of processed products (at least when C starts to eat voluntarily).

Babies in Cabs


Okay, New Yorkers. One thing I’ve seen now a couple of times that just makes me sick to my stomach is a parent without a car seat getting into a cab with a baby strapped onto him/her via Ergo or Baby Bjorn. I know, I get it. It’s a pain in the a** to lug around a car seat, and very often, you don’t plan the cab trip in advance. Maybe the buses aren’t running that day, or the subway station is closed for maintenance or whatever, and so you’re stuck. But before you get into a cab with your baby without a car seat, take a look at the video in this link. If that doesn’t make you think twice about getting into a cab, I honestly don’t know what will.

Update on the Heimlich Clear Cream

So after applying the cream on C’s legs and ear for around a week, all of here eczema patches are gone. Yippee!!! If they dare to resurface, I know now that I have an incredibly effective weapon at my disposal.

Cell Phone Pix of the Kids

So color me paranoid, perhaps, but due to a recent brush with what I thought was a potential stalker (and actually may be, though I haven’t heard from him in a while), I feel somewhat justified. I’ve gone through all of my Facebook privacy settings and set them to “Friends Only”, I’ve de-friended people I don’t know, I’ve removed as much information from the internet as I can (though not wholly successfully), etc. So imagine my horror when I found out that I’ve been broadcasting my exact location whenever I’ve taken a photo of my adorable daughter with my blackberry. Thankfully, I’ve only posted photos of C on Facebook, and a google search reveals no photos of her. Anyway, if that scares the bejebus out of you, check out this news clip:

And since this particular news clip doesn’t tell you how to remedy the situation, check out this informational website, which will give you information on how to disable geo-tagging on your smartphone.

In the meantime, cheese! :)

Vaccines

I normally try to stay out of the vaccine fray, since I respect both sides of the debate. I will leave it to the experts to debate the whole vaccine/autism connection, since a) I’m no expert, and 2) I’m pretty much an agnostic when it comes to that particular issue. But as someone who subscribes to a more holistic approach to health, I have been increasingly disturbed by the sheer number of vaccines now given to kids. (Hep-B at birth? What? We respectfully declined that one. And now they’re trying to mandate vaccines for HPV?) Again, I’m not anti-vaccine. Just a bit cautious.

So as I was doing my research on vaccinations, I came across “The Vaccine Book”, by Dr. Sears, which I thought was incredibly well-balanced and easy-to-read, weighing the pros and cons of each kind of vaccine. What’s more, for those parents who are uncomfortable with the idea of such an intense vaccination schedule, he provides an alternative vaccination schedule, which C is following (with some adjustments). So, again, ultimately, C will get all of her required vaccinations, but the shots will be more spread out. Our pediatrician was happy to comply, and I can breathe a bit easier.

So to reiterate, I am not anti-vaccination, so no need to write angry notes to me about how irresponsible I am. And I also know that there are millions of kids out there who are fine on the standard vaccination schedule, so no replies to that effect necessary. :) Ultimately, this post is from one slightly more paranoid mom to another.

Anyway, here’s the link to the book:

Eczema


So I always felt badly for kids I saw with eczema. Looked painful and unpleasant, and I always thanked God that C never had to deal with it. Little did I know. Sure enough, around two months ago, I noticed that there was a rough dry patch behind her knees. It soon spread and started turning red and raw. Then scabby. I also noticed that where the earlobe met her jawline, she had what looked like a scabby crack. Argh. The pediatrician confirmed it: eczema. Argh. No doubt caused in part by her shabby diet (more on that in another post).

The ped recommended the usual. Hydrocortisone, a steroid. But then she stopped herself because she knew me better. Haha. What I didn’t tell her was that I was already on it. I had ordered Heimlich Clear Cream, which had gotten AMAZING reviews, from Amazon and was waiting for it in the mail. In the meantime, when we got home, I cracked open a homemade calendula salve I had bought a couple of years ago from a tiny homeopathic store in Switzerland. It had been touted as a cure-all for skin ailments, and I had just found it again going through my medicine cabinet. Because I knew I had to wait a couple of days for the Heimlich Clear Cream, I thought, what the heck? Might as well give this calendula salve a try. Astoundingly, in a 48-hour period, C’s eczema had cleared up considerably. But then I received the Heimlich Clear Cream, which I was determined to use since I had just spent $30 on it. And even more astoundingly, over a weekend, C’s eczema had cleared up completely. The only thing left is some slight discoloration behind the knees, no doubt discoloration from the scabbing.

Curious, I looked at the ingredients. You guessed it: calendula. Plus arnica, a powerful natural anti-inflammatory. Coincidence?

I laugh now when I read reviews about Heimlich Clear Cream on Amazon. There is so much skepticism out there, evidenced by comments like, “This cream must contain steroids…Medically speaking, the results cannot be explained by the company’s listed ingredients.” That kind of comment obviously comes from a reviewer so biased by Western medicine that s/he is incapable of entertaining the possibility that homeopathic remedies may be just as effective as Western medicine sometimes.

Anyway, if $30 is too steep a price for you, California Baby makes its own calendula cream, which is apparently pretty effective as well. Less than half of what Heimlich costs, but as effective? Would love to hear from someone who’s used it.

In the meantime, C and I are happy campers!!!!

Car Seat Follow-Up

So The NY Times has entered the fray.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/22/health/policy/22carseat.html

My only issue with this is that I think that 2 is still too young…Heck, maybe we should all be facing backwards (driver excepted)!

(I’ve cut and pasted the article here.)

Rear-Facing Car Seats Advised at Least to Age of 2

Toddlers are usually switched from rear-facing to forward-facing car seats right after their first birthday — an event many parents may celebrate as a kind of milestone. But in a new policy statement, the nation’s leading pediatricians’ group says that is a year too soon.

The advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics, issued Monday, is based primarily on a 2007 University of Virginia study finding that children under 2 are 75 percent less likely to suffer severe or fatal injuries in a crash if they are facing the rear.

“A baby’s head is relatively large in proportion to the rest of his body, and the bones of his neck are structurally immature,” said the statement’s lead author, Dr. Dennis R. Durbin, scientific co-director of the Center for Injury Research and Prevention at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “If he’s rear-facing, his entire body is better supported by the shell of the car seat. When he’s forward-facing, his shoulders and trunk may be well restrained, but in a violent crash, his head and neck can fly forward.”

The new policy statement also advises that older children should ride in a belt-positioning booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall, and 8 to 12 years old. A booster seat allows the vehicle’s lap and shoulder seat belt to fit properly, meaning the lap portion of the belt fits low across the hips and pelvis, and the shoulder portion fits across the middle of the shoulder and chest.

“Our recommendations are meant to help parents move away from gospel-held notions that are based on a child’s age,” Dr. Durbin said. “We want them to recognize that with each transition they make, from rear-facing to forward-facing, to booster seats, there is a decline in the safety of their child. That’s why we are urging parents to delay these transitions for as long as possible.”

Safety advocates applaud the new policy, but say the transition from rear- to forward-facing is usually the one that parents are least willing to delay.

“People cheer when they turn their kid around at one year, but hopefully some day they’ll cheer at how long they were able to keep their child rear-facing,” said Debbi Baer, a labor and delivery nurse in Baltimore who has been a car safety advocate for children for more than 30 years.

The academy’s previous policy, from 2002, said it was safest for infants and toddlers to ride facing the rear, and cited 12 months and 20 pounds as the minimum requirements for turning the car seat forward. But Ms. Baer, a certified child passenger safety technician, said parents tended to take that as a hard and fast rule.

“A lot of parents consider turning the car seat around as another developmental milestone that shows how brilliant and advanced their child is,” she said, “and they don’t realize that it’s making their child less safe.”

Ms. Baer says the evidence from other countries is compelling: Sweden, for instance, where children face the rear until age 4, has the world’s lowest highway fatality rate for children under 6.

Seven years ago, Ed Weissberg and his wife, Edda, of Baltimore, took Ms. Baer’s advice, and say it saved their daughter Renana’s life.

The couple and their three children were traveling north on Interstate 95 when they were broadsided by a car that had had a blowout. Their minivan flipped into the air, sailed over three lanes of traffic and landed on the shoulder, upside down.

“The E.M.T.’s told me later that as soon as they saw our car, they were ready to take out our bodies,” said Mr. Weissberg, who now lives in Israel with his family. Instead, they found the entire family nearly unscathed, with all three children suspended upside down, still securely strapped in their car seats.

“People thought we were crazy for keeping our 2-year-old rear-facing, but if she had been facing forward, she wouldn’t be alive today,” he said.

Dr. Alisa Baer, a pediatrician at Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital in New York (and Debbi Baer’s daughter), said Renana Weissberg’s case was far from unique.

“It’s a horrible term,” she said, “but E.M.T.’s call the rear-facing seat ‘the orphan seat’ because in a bad car accident, that child is often the only one who survives.”

Until recently, most car seats that could be turned to face the rear did not accommodate children weighing more than 20 pounds. Today, however, the limits are closer to 30 to 35 pounds, and a few go to 45 pounds.

Dr. Baer said she felt so strongly that if a parent wants to install a forward-facing seat for a child younger than 2, “I tell them, ‘If you really want to make a stupid decision for your child, you can do it, but I’m not going to help you.’ ”

She noted that parents often told her that their 2-year-olds would be uncomfortable with their legs squashed against the back of the seat, and that they might be more likely to break their legs in a crash. Neither is true, she said.

“I always reassure parents that just because it looks uncomfortable to you doesn’t mean that it is for a child,” said Dr. Baer.

Rear- or Forward-Facing Car Seat?

As an urban mommy, I don’t often have to transport my kid in a car — mercifully. And as an urban kid, C just barely tolerates sitting in a car seat. (Wonder if suburban kids feel differently, since they’re more habituated?). Up until now, C has been rear-facing, but given how boring it must be for C to sit facing the back of the car for long stretches of time, I had often wondered when I could turn her around to face the front.

I know the recommendation in the United States is that the kid should remain rear-facing until at least one year old and (not “or”) 20 pounds. But there’s a lot of evidence out there that kids should stay rear-facing for as long as possible — even until 3 or 4. What???

Anyway, articles like these scared the bejebus out of me, and I’m keeping C rear-facing until she’s 18.

Stroller Madness


With this post, I’m hoping to spare some city parents out there from the same stroller purchase mistakes that I made. Maybe not so applicable to suburbanites…

We started out so promisingly. When C was an infant, we used the Graco SnugRide 32 Infant Car Seat, which doubles as a stroller if you buy the corresponding stroller frame. Efficient! Besides, I never understood the idea of buying another fancy stroller to push around your infant since I spent most of my time walking around with C strapped on to me Ergo-style. We loved our Graco SnugRide.

When C was around 4 months old, we graduated to the Rolls Royce of strollers, the EasyWalker. What I failed to realize, since I made the mistake of buying it sight unseen, was that it pretty much took up the entire square footage of our NY apartment (or at least the hallway: see pic above), and it was around as heavy as an actual Rolls Royce. So while C may have loved it, the hubby and I, not so much. (I’m also looking at you, Bugaboo and UPPAbaby Vista.)

So then we moved on to an umbrella stroller, the Maclaren Volo. 8.5 pounds!!! A dream! What I failed to realize was that it would have been nice to have gotten a stroller with a reclining seat, as C oftentimes fell asleep in her stroller, and nothing’s more heartbreaking than seeing a kid’s head lolligagging to one side as s/he sleeps.

By now, the hubby was somewhat frustrated with all of my stroller acquisitions, and so he limited me to a budget of around $150 for the next stroller. So between the Maclaren Triumph and the UPPAbaby G-luxe, I opted for the latter. The seat reclined back farther, the sun canopy was more expansive, and an attached cup holder for my morning joe sealed the deal. The only problem now is that the straps seem somewhat short with all of C’s winter gear, which doesn’t bode well for next winter. Sigh.

If I had to do it all over again, I would have just opted for the City Mini (not the Elite version!) and have called it a day. It seems like the perfect hybrid of luxury stroller and umbrella stroller. But it’s heavy (26 pounds???), and if weight is an issue, perhaps the Maclaren Quest, which comes in at 12.2 pounds.

Man, I cannot wait until it doesn’t take C half an hour to walk half a block…