"I'm Fat!"

A couple of weeks ago, my then 20-month old daughter looked at my admittedly large and softening belly one evening and said two words that almost stopped my heart: "Umma fat." (For those of you who don't speak Korean, "Umma" is Korean for "mommy"). The comment, coming from a 20-month old, was both hysterical and heartbreaking. Hysterical, because what 20-month old walks around calling people "fat"? Heartbreaking, because I've always been paranoid about conveying my body image issues to C and here she was, repeating words back to me that she had most likely heard from me (as much as I would have loved to blame anyone else: the daycare provider, her babysitter, another mommy...but, alas, no).

Having grown up a "larger" girl (by Asian standards, a "hippo", apparently, which is what I was often called by someone who shall remain unnamed), I've spent most of my life dealing with a twisted relationship with food -- not to mention my body. And I remember sitting around one day with a bunch of women who were all griping about their bodies, getting more and more infuriated that we were falling prey to such a stereotype and such pressure. (Have you ever noticed how when women get together, one or more of them inevitably resorts to talking about her body or her diet? I plead guilty to being that woman on more than one occasion!) I remember wondering if men sat around griping about their bodies the way we were doing at that moment, and, if not, why we women were. At that point, I made a conscious decision never ever to talk about my body again -- at least in a derogatory manner.

Obviously, I've let that resolution slide by the wayside, but now that I have a daughter, I'd like to renew that resolution, especially in light of an article that my friend recently posted on her Facebook wall (thanks, Jen!): http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42380003/ns/today-today_health/. I of course don't want to sound preachy, but if I can encourage at least one mother to think twice before talking about her body in a negative way in front of her daughter, then this post has done its job.